Messages You’re Sending with After Hour Emails & How to Fix It

by | Jul 11, 2017

How to Stop Sending Late-Night Emails: Effective Strategies for Overcoming Work Addiction and Setting Boundaries

As someone who had a diagnosed work addiction for almost two years of my career, I can tell you that I was a massive offender of late-night (many times at 2:00 am) and weekend emails. I was up because my racing thoughts were telling me that I needed to get ahead, and I thought I might as well clear out my inbox and check off my to-do lists. I didn’t expect people to respond to me at that time, I just wanted to get it done.

What I didn’t realize were the unintentional messages I was sending to my teammates and clients. Here are 4 very common interpretations from the receiving end of your post-business hour emailing:

  1. If I’m working late, you should be too. Hey – you need to realize that work is 24/7 in this day and age, and whether you like it or not, if I’m working, so should you! What are you lazy?
  2. I don’t have boundaries. Why else would you be responding to emails on nights and weekends? Clearly, you’re accessible anytime time we need you! So, I expect to hear back from you whenever I need you, no matter what. You’ve already shown me that it’s okay.
  3. I don’t respect your time. Midnight, Saturday afternoon, whatever. What could you possibly be doing that’s more important than responding to my communication?
  4. I’m overwhelmed. I’m so overloaded that the only time I can actually attend to my emails is when you’re not working. Pity party for 1?

So now I’m expecting the biggest offenders of this to say things like, “Well, it really is the only time I can send those emails,” or “I’d never get my work done if I didn’t do it that way.” So if that’s really your case, first I feel sorry for you. I know that feeling all too well, and it’s not a good one. I do believe that it’s mostly a mind game that we play with ourselves, though, and until you can get a grip on your schedule, you’ll never be able to see it otherwise.

Try one of these 4 techniques that worked wonders for me!

  1. Tell them you don’t expect a response. If you really just MUST send that email, send a note at the top that says something like **I don’t expect you to respond to this over the weekend. Just wanted to get it off my plate.**
  2. Time block your email communications. I try to only do email before 9:00am and after 3:00pm so I can get all my other work done from 9 – 3 during the day. It’s really hard to not shoot off a quick response when one comes in, but I promise you that responding a few hours after that person contacted you if still quite timely and respectful.
  3. Save the email as a draft and send it the next day. Or if you have one of those cool programs like Boomerang or Mixmax, you can actually schedule your emails to go out during business hours with the “send later” option. It’s incredible!
  4. Set a firm “Quitting Time”. I read this in Better than Before by Gretchen Rubin. You don’t have to set the same time every day because that could be unrealistic. But when you do decide to end for the day, put a stake in the ground and tell yourself, “That’s all for folks”. As in, no checking emails – even if you’re not responding. It’s hard to switch to “off-mode” when you still have one foot in the race. I’m working on this one now and am so excited about what it will do to benefit my downtime.

Are you a late-night or weekend email offender? If you are, are you willing to try one of these techniques? Let me know if any work for you or if you have another one to offer!

In addition, if you are a conscious leader who wants to learn more techniques to create a thriving workplace culture, check out my new company culture book – Permission to Be Human: The Conscious Leaders Guide to Creating a Values-Driven Culture.

And for those of you (like me) who enjoy a visual:

Learn about the messaging you are sending with after hour emails

 

Create Your Values-Driven Life

Our Newsletter, Create Your Values Driven Life, features unique ideas, common-sense reminders + inspiration to help you know and live your values.

I Was Setting Boundaries All Wrong. Written by James Hyland

I Was Setting Boundaries All Wrong

How to Set Healthy Boundaries Without Pushing Back How do you set a boundary with someone who is six times bigger than you, significantly stronger than you, and has absolutely no problem pushing...

Your Boundaries Start with This. Written by MaryBeth Hyland

Your Boundaries Start with This

How to Set Healthy Boundaries With Yourself There is a common misconception about boundaries: that they are mostly about what you say to other people. What you will tolerate. What you will not...

What are you still carrying? Written by James Hyland

What Are You Still Carrying?

How to Release Stress and Tension From Your Body With Tai Chi You can carry something for so long that you stop noticing how heavy it has become. The stress starts to feel normal, the tension...

Lion's Gate Portal is Calling. Written by MaryBeth Hyland

Lion’s Gate Portal is Calling

The Lion’s Gate Portal Is Here 🦁💫 There are certain moments in the year that invite you to pay closer attention. 🧲To what you’re calling in. 💗To what you’ve outgrown.👣To the version of yourself that...

When Going Viral Hurts. Written by MaryBeth Hyland

When Going Viral Hurts

What It's Really Like to Go Viral on Social Media More than five years of human life have now been spent watching James pull a dead mouse out of my shoe.🤯 That sentence 👆 feels insane to write. But...

What Are You Ready to Release? Written by James Hyland

What Are You Ready to Release?

How to Release Stored Emotions From Your Body Have you ever noticed that your body reacts to something before your mind understands what is happening? Your shoulders tense. Your stomach tightens....

Shift from scarcity into abundance. Written by MaryBeth Hyland

Shift From Scarcity Into Abundance

How to Shift from a Scarcity Mindset to an Abundance Mindset There are moments when life seems to show you exactly what you need to see. During a recent livestream meditation with Ollie and Norby,...

Your Body Whispers First. Written by James Hyland

Your Body Whispers First

What Is Your Body Trying to Tell You? How to Listen Before Pain Gets Worse Your body speaks in whispers before it has to scream. That is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my own healing...

To cry or be calm. Written by James Hyland

To Cry or Be Calm

How to Set Your Energy Each Morning for a Calmer, More Intentional Day Many years ago, I learned a life lesson that changed my perspective forever. It’s one that’s proven valuable in so many...