This past weekend, something profound happened.
Twelve incredible women from diverse backgrounds came together for a retreat in Deep Creek Lake. Most of them didn’t know more than one other person, yet they enthusiastically trusted me and my partner, Nakeia Drummond, to lead them in 2 days of owning their story, shedding those that didn’t serve them and living in their purpose.
What we didn’t realize when we were planning this weekend was that it fell smack-dab in-between a full lunar and solar eclipse. When we discovered that it felt like, “Yes – this is supposed to happen! The universe says so!” Yet as we got closer to the weekend it didn’t feel like rainbows and sunshine. More and more turmoil was bubbling up in our country, grounded in hate and polarization.
I couldn’t sleep.
It was no coincidence that our experience was equally Women of Color and Caucasian. My partner and I both felt it would add deep value to all our lives – but not to be the focus of our retreat. Simply to be the conveners of diverse backgrounds, experiences, and mindsets. All growing from getting intimately close to people we likely wouldn’t spend the weekend with in a mini-mansion. Not because we don’t get along or wouldn’t enjoy each other’s company. Because it’s just not the norm to intentionally seek that out or have that level of relationships in our current social dynamics.
But here we were, just days after from the protest in Charlottesville. How could we plan this entire experience and NOT address the elephant in the room? I frantically emailed Nakeia at 4:00 am (breaking a major rule of mine) telling her how I felt. Holding my breath in hopes that I didn’t offend her in any way. What I didn’t expect was how relieved she was knowing that I was feeling that way. She explained that it changes the power of the conversation when a white person brings it up. I had never thought of it that way.
As our first night’s conversation began I was in heaven. All the ladies organically connected were open about themselves and clearly excited to be there. I, once again, got the sense that “Yes, we are supposed to be here.”
When it was finally time to give formal remarks, I stated that I felt that the universe and our country wants us to be here together this weekend. The power of the solar eclipse on the horizon, representing new beginnings in times of darkness. And the most recent events in the story of our country’s racial divide. By spending this time together, a focus of the conversation or not, we were part of the solution.
That first night, on its own legs, I participated and listened to some of the most powerful conversations on race I’d ever been a part of. It was far from light – it was enlightening. We each spoke openly about what makes us uncomfortable and what gives us power. It was the most meaningful way I’ve ever kicked-off an experience I’ve been responsible for in my life.
That start created an incredible foundation of trust, vulnerability, and empathy. The connections came fast and were deep. And I’m so grateful. For my life is better for truly knowing each and every one of these women’s stories. Seeing how deeply connected we are through shared experience and how we have the power to be the author of our story!
So much more to come about this new adventure in sisterhood, but this is the first I wanted to share.
If you’re interested in a powerful article that was recommended as a result of our first night’s conversation, check it out here: A Letter to White Folks, from a White Charlottesville Native
