How to Nurture Your Inner Child: A Guide to Overcoming Negative Self-Talk and Embracing Self-Love

Around the age of 4, our mind begins to form its ego. The ego is the little voice in our head that takes away the joy in the present moment. It whispers and sometimes screams at us that we’re not enough and questions our every move. And when we don’t recognize what’s happening and calibrate back into a place of kindness, it can take us down like no other. You know that pain in the butt, right?  Well, I am going to teach you how to treat yourself better.

You can practice mindfulness, do yoga, meditate and all the rest of it. And those things are incredibly helpful!  But no matter how much you practice, that mean little voice will find its way back into your consciousness. So the best thing you can do is be aware when it has arrived and have a way to tame it so it doesn’t take over. 

I recently learned of this incredible process to do just that…

Can you remember back when you were itty bitty and didn’t have a care in the world? Everything was exciting because it was all new. Then you started to realize, “Something is not right here, but I don’t know what. And I don’t know how to make it better.” So you would cry and scream until you were (hopefully) comforted by someone else. 

Well, that little sweet baby version of you is still there. It lives inside of you. You may have grown in age and size, but your need to be cared for still exists. The difference is, you can now do something about it. And you don’t need anyone but yourself. Not your partner, not your boss, not your best friend. You have everything you need right inside of you. You just need to be reminded.

So how do you do that?

Here is how to treat yourself better:

Step 1: Find a picture of yourself before the age of 4. 

Ideally, one that makes you happy when you see it. Make it the background of your phone so you have it at all times. 

Step 2: Look deeply into that little babe’s heart and soul and remember how precious you are.

Step 3: Using your photo, ask yourself what s/he needs in the present moment to be cared for.

If mean thoughts are coming up ask, “Would I say that to her?”

Numbing with food or alcohol, ask, “Would I want her to drink that?” “Would I give her that to eat?”

Pushing yourself too much, ask, “Would I push her that hard?”

Saying yes to yet another event, “Would I make her go to that when what she really needs is a nap?”

Step 4: Remind yourself that little you is fully alive and needs you to care for them at the same level you would care for an innocent child.

Step 5: Take a deep breath and make a better decision for the little you who needs it so badly.

Step 6: Love hard on yourself the way you would a child.

Do you need to be rocked?

Swaddled uptight and put to bed?

Told that you’re enough, that you’re loved, that you’re perfect exactly as you are?

Give yourself what you need to hear and feel.

I recently made the background of my phone the picture you see here of sweet baby MaryBeth. When I first got this picture last year, I started to weep. I wept because I immediately remembered the pain that was in my life from an abusive father. I looked at how beautiful I was and thought, “How could anyone ever hurt her?” “Can’t you see how sweet and good she is?” 

Before knowing about this exercise, I already knew. She was still inside me and still needed me to care for her. And I could do that for myself. 

Will you care for the sweet, innocent baby that so desperately wants your love and attention?

You can do just that when you know how to treat yourself better. Join me in making that image front and center in your life. Use it as a tool to keep yourself in alignment. Love yourself in all the ways you missed and all the ways you know to be true. Everyone will benefit when you do.

If you need support, contact us, and we will let you know how we can help you.