Imagine waking in the middle of the night to a fire in your home, smoke flooding through the entire house.
One night this past September, that happened to our family.
Thankfully, the four members of our family who were home at the time, along with our three pets, were all safe. While we’re still not back in our permanent residence, we are managing through resilience and patience to continue our lives.
I interpret resilience as the ability to recover and to try again. An online definition I found talks about recovering quickly. It is of great interest to me to think about a characteristic associated with a quick turnaround when there is still a need for patience.
1. A quick recovery was important for several reasons: Our kitchen had been remodeled just two years earlier. We couldn’t dwell on the fact that the remodeling (which took us 19 years to get to) had been destroyed.
2. Neither my wife nor I had ever been in a situation like this before. We had to call 911 that night. We spoke with representatives from the city that night. We spoke with representatives from the Red Cross the next morning. We spoke with our insurer the next morning. And my wife has spent many hours talking with adjusters and contractors since then. None of this could wait. None of this allows for a do-over. All of it is necessary to move forward.
3. Each member of my family had a life to lead with personal and, in some cases, professional activities that couldn’t be left behind. For me, I was still teaching a current curriculum, all while preparing for another that was about to start. One of my sons had to complete the college application process. Both sons had a variety of activities. And my wife learned to manage big projects in a way she never had to before.
Despite having to do so much right away and barely having time for any member of my family to catch her or his breath, we also had to have patience. The cleaning of the house required time. The cleaning of the clothes required time. As repairs were being planned, new problems turned up. Each step, we waited. And we are still waiting.
We were spared the most unfavorable conditions of the process thanks to quick action and some preventative measures (like our good insurance policy), but it didn’t make it any less substantial or painful of a process to experience.
Our temporary house is truly a temporary home. We have welcomed friends for a “Friendsgiving” meal. We have hosted a gathering to share homemade food for a birthday. And, while we anxiously await our return to our permanent home, we have managed to carry on church involvement, community involvement, getting to know our new neighbors, success at the office, and success at school.
None of this would have been possible without resilience and patience. These two personality attributes came together in my personal life, but there have been plenty of opportunities to exhibit both at once in the workplace. I recall when one of the members of my team left my organization. Resilience led to my taking on four direct reports for several months. Patience was required to find the best replacement. Often, crises require short-term resilience run but patience to solve a larger underlying challenge.
How have you met the challenge of needing to exhibit two contrasting personality traits in such a situation? And what have you learned to help you be better prepared for the next time?
Kevin Frick is the Vice Dean for Education at the Johns Hopkins Carey Business School. He has been an avid runner for the past 11 years – participating in 9 marathons (including Boston in 2013) and one 55 mile ultra marathon in South Africa. He has spoken about mentoring to the Carey Women in Business student association and for TEDx JHU DC. You can follow his personal blog where many of his poems appear as well as his professional blog.
