How to Break the Doom-and-Gloom Spiral by Reconnecting With Your Core Values
As I sit staring into the glow of my computer, I start to feel it.
At first it’s just a little pull… a tiny twinge.
Then it starts to drag me down.
Heavier.
And heavier.
And heavier.
Before I know it, its grip fully got me.
That fear spiral.
The doom-and-gloom.
The wave of “oh no, here we go again” that can sneak up on you out of nowhere.
When that hits for me, it’s not just one feeling. It’s a whole poisonous cocktail:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Fear
…and then the two loudest voices of all show up:
😩The Victim and the Judge.😈
The Victim starts in with:
“Why is this happening to me again?”
“Why can’t anything just be easy?”
“Why am I always stuck in this cycle?”
Then the Judge piles on right behind it:
“You should be over this by now.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Look at everything you’re doing wrong.”
It can feel like getting kicked while you’re already down.
And if you’ve been following along the past couple of years, you know this isn’t new for me. I’ve been here before. Many times.
As humans, we all find ourselves in these fear cycles. That part is normal.
The part that used to really get me stuck was this:
Even when I knew I was in a spiral… I had no clue how to get out. So numbing and binging were my go-to coping mechanisms.
In the past, when I fell into doom-and-gloom, I would stay there for a long time.
I’d wallow in it.
And as strange as it sounds, there was a part of me that was comfortable there. It reminds me of something my mentor don Miguel Ruiz says:
“We like to protect our hell.”
There was a part of me that believed, “This is just how I am. This is what I deserve. This is what I should feel like.”
The actual trigger was usually something small and not very rational—a jolting email, a money worry, something unexpected with business. But my nervous system would grab that tiny spark and spin it into a tornado.
One thought would lead to another, then another, and before I knew it, I was lost inside the storm.
And when you don’t have tools—or you forget to use them—it can feel almost impossible to pull yourself out.
So when it happened, going ‘back to work’ this week. I froze and fell deep into the spiral.
Part of me was aware it was happening. I could see and feel it. But I was still trapped in the energy of it.
MaryBeth tried to pull me out, but I couldn’t really “hear” her and I couldn’t find the words to express what was happening. I shut down.
And that’s such a frustrating place to be, right?
You know exactly what’s going on… and you still feel stuck.
Finally, MaryBeth helped me name it out loud, which is always powerful. But naming it wasn’t enough on its own.
I had to actually do something different with that low vibration energy.
I knew what I had to do: activate my values.
Health & Well-Being were the core values that saved me from protecting my hell.
That looked like something very simple: I went outside to move my body.
I know that when I move, my thoughts, feelings and emotions move too. When my body shifts, the energy that’s been looping in my mind starts to loosen.
So I went out, exercised, and let myself breathe again.
Then, I activated Unity with Nature & Connection.
I did that in two ways:
- I went on a hike with MaryBeth.
- I invested time with our horses.
We’ve been slowly building up our horses here in Arizona to take them on more adventures. Our big, beautiful boy Ollie is still very curious about the cactuses. He bit into one that literally got his lips stuck together. So we’ve been taking it slow.
The day of my spiral, we decided to take them out for a little walk in the driveway.
It was exactly what my soul needed: movement, nature, and connection with beings I love.
I could feel my nervous system starting to settle.
And then… life gave me a little test.
As I was walking Ollie, I brought him over to a spot to graze.
He moved quickly and stepped right on my foot… with all his weight. All 1,100+ pounds.
Now, he’s stepped on my foot before, but this time was by far the worst.
And of course, this was the day I wasn’t wearing boots—just slip-on shoes. (My toes will absolutely be reminding me of that choice for a while.)
I let out a big yell. The pain was intense.
But here’s the surprising part:
If this had happened a couple of hours earlier, when I was still deep in doom and gloom, it would have taken me out emotionally.
The Victim would have said:
“See? Everything’s going wrong. Why does this always happen to you?”
The Judge would have piled on:
“You’re so stupid. Why didn’t you wear boots? You attract bad things.”
But none of that showed up.
Yes, it hurt. But it didn’t turn into a story about how my life was falling apart.
It was just: “Ouch. I need to walk this off.”
And then… I moved on.
The pain was temporary (and thankfully only left a bruised toe). The spiral didn’t get to take over.
To me, that was such a powerful reflection of how different things can feel when I’m actually aligned with my values and taking care of my energy.
Because I know if I were still in my doom and gloom, it would have been a lot worse.
So if you’re someone who, like me, sometimes gets caught in these doom-and-gloom spirals…
Here’s what I want you to know:
- You’re not broken or weak.
- You’re not alone in this.
- You can learn how to meet those moments differently.
You can build your own “exit ramp” when the spiral starts:
- Activate your values.
- Ask for support.
- Use the tools that help you release what’s been hanging on for too long.
You don’t have to protect your hell anymore.
You’re allowed to step out of it.
If a part of you is reading this and thinking:
“That’s what I want. I want to know what to do when this happens. I want a way back to myself…”
That’s exactly why we created the New Year, More Me Challenge.🌟
It’s a 30-day experience designed to help you:
- Get clear on your unique core values
- Learn how to activate them in real-time—especially when fear, anxiety, or old patterns show up
- Create simple daily practices that support the version of you who feels grounded, aligned, and awake
You’ll get bite-sized teachings, guided practices, and live group coaching with us—so you’re not just thinking about your values, you’re actually living them. And after the 30-day challenge is over, you’ll get a year’s worth of daily micro-practices to help you stay in alignment with values.
This isn’t about perfection.
It’s about having a plan and a path when your brain wants to drag you back into the dark.
👇 You can check out the New Year, More Me Challenge and save your spot here:
Join the New Year, More Me Challenge
I’d be honored to walk alongside you as you build your way out of the doom-and-gloom spiral and into a life that actually feels like yours.
P.S.
One more piece of that story I want you to hear…
After the whole doom-and-gloom saga, the final thing that helped clear the lingering residue for me was doing a Belief Code session on myself.
As a certified practitioner, I’ve seen over and over—both in my own life and in hundreds of sessions with others—how this kind of energy work can often be the “last click” that helps you feel whole again.
It doesn’t erase the human experience, but it can make it a lot easier to step out of the doom spiral and back into alignment when you don’t have that negative energy holding you down.
When you join the New Year, More Me Challenge and actively participate, you’ll be entered into a drawing to win a 1×1 energy healing session with me. If you win, we can use Belief Code to gently release whatever beliefs or emotional residue might be keeping you looping in your own doom-and-gloom patterns—so it’s easier to return to your core values and live from the more grounded, aligned version of you that this challenge is helping you build.
