What a Wildfire Taught Me About Setting Healthy Boundaries
Wildfires are very real in our little slice of paradise.🔥Especially in the summer when the ground is dry.
And recently, we found ourselves preparing to evacuate our home and our horses from a lightning strike that started a 250-acre wildfire that we could see burning from our bedroom window. We were watching it come over the mountain and begin to be a threat to our ranch and all the beings that live here.
Within minutes, our incredible neighbors were bringing us what we needed to safely evacuate the horses and coaching us through what to do.
Within hours, our chosen family was checking in. Even service providers who knew we lived near the fire were reaching out to offer shelter, guidance, and support.
The firefighters were incredible, working nonstop to keep our community safe. I have never felt so protected and cared for by so many people in the middle of utter chaos.❤️🩹
But there was something else happening then, too.
Fear was everywhere. 😨 And understandably so. This is a legitimate life-threatening emergency.
People were scared. Everyone had different information, different opinions about what we should do, and different levels of urgency about how quickly we needed to act.
I could feel other people’s fear coming from every direction. And it was inflamed on social media.
And that’s when I realized that I could join the panic or be a force for peace. This was a serious moment for boundaries with myself.
Not the kind of boundary where you say, “No, I can’t do that.” The kind where you decide: Your fear is valid, but I don’t have to take it on as my fear.
👂I could listen to people’s concerns without absorbing their panic.
🫷I could take the situation seriously without catastrophizing.
💬 I could receive advice without surrendering my own discernment.
🧳I could prepare for the worst without emotionally living there before it happened.
❤️🩹And I could care deeply about how everyone around me was feeling without making their feelings my responsibility to carry.
So instead of joining the chaos, I focused on being an island of peace in a sea of chaos. I used my tools. I stayed grounded. I gathered the information we needed.
We made a plan. We prepared the horses. We listened to the people who knew more than we did and took their advice to heart. And we kept paying attention to what was actually happening instead of allowing fear to dictate what might happen next.
I could be calm AND take the threat seriously.
☝️That distinction matters.
Because boundaries aren’t just about saying no to another commitment or refusing to answer a work email after 5:00. Boundaries start within yourself – they’re internal.
You can listen. You can care. You can have compassion. You can even allow what they’re experiencing to inform your decisions. Without carrying it for them.
That’s something I wish I had understood and could implement much earlier in my life.
For years, I thought being a caring person meant taking everything on. Other people’s needs became my responsibilities. Their urgency became my urgency. Their disappointment could completely change my decisions.
But that isn’t compassion. And it definitely isn’t freedom.
Healthy boundaries have taught me that I can care without carrying it.
Thankfully, the fire is now out. 🙏🐴 Our home is safe. Our horses are safe. And I’m incredibly grateful for every single person who showed up for us.
I’m walking away with another reminder of just how powerful boundaries can be in little moments and the oh-so-very-big ones.
Because knowing the boundary you need and having the courage to hold it when real life gets messy are two very different things.
That’s exactly why James and I created our How to Set Boundaries Bootcamp: Reclaim Your Power, Rewild Your Life.🔥
Over 3 live sessions on September 28–30, we’re going to teach you how to set healthy, values-aligned boundaries that protect your peace, energy, and well-being — without guilt, fear, or constantly second-guessing yourself.
But we’re not going to teach you a framework and then send you off to figure it out alone.
You’ll also get 3 months inside our Rewilded Alignment Community to actually LIVE it.
Because the real test isn’t knowing what your boundary should be. It’s what happens when someone pushes back. When the guilt hits. When you start questioning yourself. When someone else’s emotions become really loud. When life gets messy, and the old version of you wants to take it all back on again.
That’s when you’ll have a community of people who get you, ongoing support, boundary-focused practices, and coaching to help you come back to your values and try again.
3 days to learn it. 3 months to live it.
If you’re ready to stop absorbing everyone else’s fear, expectations, emotions, and chaos — and start protecting your own peace — join us for the How to Set Boundaries Bootcamp.
Reclaim your power. Protect your peace. Rewild your life.
Get Your Spot Here
You ready to extinguish your self-doubt and take your power back?
P.S.
Check out what Jeff had to say about his experience in the boundaries bootcamp:
“I participated in MaryBeth’s Boundaries Bootcamp because I was too “nice” when it came to boundary-setting. I struggled with my own worth, therefore compensating by trying not to upset others.
The most impactful part for me was breaking my limiting beliefs and realizing that saying “no” does not have to come with guilt because I was able to figure out how to better align how I interact with others while maintaining my core values.
After completing the Bootcamp, I feel more confident, and I’ve been able to set boundaries around conversations in my personal and professional life.
I would recommend this experience to anyone who is looking for self-improvement. Whether you’re just getting started or a “vet” of working on yourself, MaryBeth and her guidance can help you!”
– Jeff Cook
👉 Join the Boundaries Bootcamp Here
