How a Solo Retreat Helped Me Realign My Life with Core Values and Find Lasting Balance
Earlier this month I spent 10 glorious days completely alone in the mountains of Idaho with no cell service, internet reception or television. I was in my ultimate happy place, giving myself the space I needed to reflect, reset and realign. My plan was to work deeply on my personal and professional priorities and to design a life where my day-to-day experience reflected the alignment of values with my core values.
That may sound like a rainbow unicorn statement to many people, but to me, it was the peace I’ve been seeking, but I never gave the time and space it deserved to wrap my head around it all. After all, “values” are a very personal and complicated thing. They live inside of us whether or not we’ve taken the time to define them, understand where they were developed and can acknowledge them when they come to life through our actions.
Simply put: When your daily experience is aligned with your values life is typically good. You feel satisfied and happy. However, when they’re not aligned, you feel off – frustrated and discontent.
Have you ever caught yourself saying things like, “This goes against everything I believe in!” or “That is just who I am.”? Whether you recognize it or not, you’re referring to your values.
I have found myself conflicted with my values more than I anticipated this past year. I took on work that I shouldn’t have and was accountable to everyone but myself. There were days that I felt I had lost some of the main purpose of why I left to start my own business in the first place. Being overwhelmed and overbooked are definitely not things that I value in my life. So, how could I make a hard reset?
My retreat was the perfect opportunity to lay it all out, see where I made missteps and then create formalized policies on what I would and would not do in order to stay in alignment with my personal value system.
For example, one of my core values is “Balance”. Not work/life balance, but “balance” in general – big difference. So, my value statement started like this:
Make my time matter. Okay so what? Dig a little deeper:
Know my limits. Be present to taking on too much. Don’t take it on just because “I can”. Delegate, subcontract, and ask for help. Schedule further out. Only take work that’s aligned with values. Celebrate and exercise creativity. Protect “off time”. Create parameters for a clear separation between work and life.
Pretty good stuff, right? But at the same time – what the hell does it mean? Enter my policies!
Policies are the non-negotiables. If you have a dress code policy and show up in wildly inappropriate attire you would likely get pulled aside, possible reprimanded and maybe even lose your job if this was a regular offense. That’s how seriously I need to take these. So here goes:
- No external meetings on Mondays and Fridays.
- No more than 3 external meetings a day Tuesday – Thursday (max 9 meetings/week).
- Determine a “Quitting Time” every day and don’t work afterward.
Can you imagine if you got reprimanded or even lost your job for working after “quitting time “or taking on too many prospect meetings? Ha! In what company does that happen?
I’m proud to say that at SparkVision it does.
I did this exercise with 8 unique value statements, descriptions and associated policies. I’m now working on putting them into a beautifully laid-out design, printing and posting them where I read them every day and remind myself of how I can live my life in alignment. I’ve also blocked these things out in my calendar and put up reminders where would most easily slip up.
For example, on Monday’s and Friday’s my schedule reads, “PROTECTED: Value Policy“. I’ve already caught myself several times trying to sneak in an appointment on one of those days. Then that block shows up and, because of the language I used, stops me in my tracks. If I had written “hold” or “do not book” it wouldn’t carry an ounce of the power these words do for me.
These are the little concepts that make a HUGE impact on the day-to-day experience of being alive. In the 2+ weeks I’ve been home, I’ve never felt a greater sense of purpose, alignment, and joy for what’s to come.
My husband and I even did this for our relationship and have already made tiny but enormous shifts in our lifestyle that we’re both so excited to have embraced. The best part? We’re just getting started.
I’m looking forward to continuing this work, sharing it with this wonderful community and using my experience to help individuals and companies truly live their values. Not just have a nice poster on the wall stating the ideal situation – putting pen to paper and making rules to ensure they come to life!
