Top 10 Things You Should Never Say or Do to a Pregnant Coworker: A Guide to Respectful Workplace Etiquette
At some point in our lives almost all of us will work with a pregnant colleague, be a pregnant woman, or simply know a pregnant woman in a professional capacity. I wish I could simply write “treat them like normal human beings with appropriate professional boundaries.” Unfortunately, people seem to forget what that means once a bump is in the picture.
So, if you’re curious about the major “Don’ts” for your pregnant colleague, look no further.
1. Don’t ask if someone is pregnant. Seriously, please respect your coworker’s privacy and wait for them to tell you. No one wants a pregnancy detective and you never know if that person is struggling with getting pregnant.
2. “Was it planned?” Or in other formats: “Are you ready?”, “How long were you trying?!” It’s definitely none of your business.
3. Don’t ask if she’s having twins. And more generally, don’t comment on her weight/size/appearance. She knows she’s likely getting bigger, she’s creating a human being inside of her. She doesn’t need to be reminded.
4. Don’t touch her belly. Don’t even ask if you can, just don’t touch.
5. Don’t ask if she is going to come back after the birth. And even how she is going to manage her job/travel/home life. She has thought about it and has a plan, trust me. But you don’t need to be a part of it.
6. Don’t share pregnancy/birth horror stories. Becoming a parent is terrifying enough, please keep the stories to yourself. This also includes commenting on their birth plan if she shares it with you. Who cares if she wants an epidural or she doesn’t?
7. “Sleep now while you can!” The newborn days are rough, and if it’s her first child she’ll know soon enough. Sleeping while pregnant is hard, let’s not make it worse with snarky comments.
8. “Any day now!” These comments seem to start around the sixth or seventh month, and that’s unfortunate because there is still a long way to go.
9. “You’re still here!?” The lack of paid parental leave in this country is shameful and as a result many women are working until they give birth. Yes, it sucks.
10. “Enjoy your vacation/time off!” Birth is still treated as a special circumstance vs a typical normal life event that. Caring for a newborn while putting your insides back together is not a vacation.
Each one of the statements above has been said to me or a pregnant colleague by our coworkers, supervisors, or even CEOs.
Pregnancy is simply part of life for a significant portion of the workforce—so let’s start treating it like that.
What’s the worst thing someone’s said or done to you when you were Working While Pregnant (WWP)? Or have you noticed anything with a pregnant colleague?
Christiana Mercer Rigby writes passionately about millennial parents in the workplace and actively embraces the term “millennial mom.” She’s a seasoned nonprofit professional, digital editor, community advocate, mother of small children, and lifelong learner. With a degree in Environmental science, and minor degrees in dance and sociology she’s never been one to take the straight forward path. As a compulsive volunteer she is still learning the difference between the right opportunities and the wrong ones. Community involvement is her passion and she’s forever interested in finding common ground in the perspectives of others. As a parent, she’s worked full time, part time, no time, and contract – so she’s seen it all. Christiana is also deeply active in her community serving on nonprofit boards and government committees.
