Life Lessons from My Beloved Cat: Wisdom, Love, and Laughter from 16 Years with Fluffy
This past week I lost my best friend—our 19 year old cat Mr. Fluffer Nutter aka Fluffy.
He was with us for 16 years and I will never forget the first time I saw him. MaryBeth and I had just moved in together and after about a month, we decided to bring a fur baby into our home.
We went on pet finder and saw our little big guy right away. He was lying on his back with his tongue sticking out and we knew we had to meet him.
He was staying in a foster home with several other cats. When we opened the door to see him, he ran over to us immediately, started rubbing us all over, and talked very loudly.
We knew right away it was meant to be.
We learned that he started off his life living on the streets before a lady with dozens of cats took him in. She passed and all the cats went into the shelter. All of his siblings got adopted pretty quickly, but not Fluff. He had been in a foster home for nearly 2 years. People had checked him out, but no one adopted him.
And I know why.
He was waiting for us. We were meant to be together.
We could always count on him, and he lived to ensure MaryBeth and I were okay—up until his last breath, that was all he wanted.
I have so much to say about Fluffy, but today, I want to share the wisdom he instilled in me for he was one of my greatest teachers.
Ask for what you want.
If Fluffy wanted something, he made sure to let you know. Whether it was pets, snuggles or a piece of your bacon, he was not shy about asking for it. It didn’t matter if it was me or MaryBeth or if he was just meeting you for the first time, he would get all up in your face and ask without hesitation until he got it.
This was big for someone like me who struggled to use my voice growing up. I would always make up stories about why I couldn’t ask for things like…
“Well I don’t want to put others out” or “I don’t want to be judged”.
Fluffy did not care. He cut through that BS and unapologetically asked for what he wanted until he got it. Seeing him do that helped me realize I could do that, too.
Prioritize rest.
Most people know cats like to nap, but Fluffy took that to another level when it came to helping us relax. When we first got him, we were extreme go-getters who worked a lot. If he saw us working late, he would often come over and be like “hey what are you doing?” and then demand some snuggles.
He knew when we needed a break even if we didn’t realize it ourselves. He was our loving accountabilibuddy.
He also taught me that the best way to solve a problem is to do nothing. Often, when I felt stuck, I would stare at a screen, thinking the solution would come to me. It usually didn’t, and I often felt crazy.
But when I walked away and saw our little boy sitting in the sunshine, it reminded me of how important it is to create space. Often, after spending a little time with him in the sun petting him, the answer revealed itself.
Love unconditionally.
As humans, it is easy to put conditions on our love for one another. As in, I will love you if you do this. Fluffy showed his love without any conditions. He didn’t take things personally or judge you for what you did or didn’t do. He just really wanted to love you and get love.
Laughter is medicine.
As people have been sharing their memories of Fluffy with us, usually the first thing they mention is the first time they saw his famous butt pats. I always said we should record their reaction because they would burst into laughter when they first saw it.
Yes, Fluffy liked to get spanked. As I mentioned before, he would ask for it unapologetically. It always cracked me up when someone would come over the first time, and he would “assume the position,” and “present himself.” They would ask, “What is going on?” followed by rolling laughter when they discovered just how much loved to be spanked and got pissed when you’d stop. ?
He also knew when we needed laughter to change our mood or energy. Whether popping his head out, sticking his tongue out, making a funny noise or getting himself in the weirdest positions, he knew how to make us laugh, and it always seemed to be at the right time.
When people are suffering, just be there for them.
I struggled for many years when MaryBeth would be upset about something. I was a fixer and just wanted to “fix” her to take whatever pain away. I realize I couldn’t do that and often made matters worse.
Fluffy taught me when someone is suffering, you just need to be there for them. Put an arm on them, give them a gentle rub, and just hold that space.
Men do cry.
I was programmed from a young age to think that boys don’t cry. It makes you weak, soft or whatever else the machismo culture was putting out there. I can only remember a handful of times crying in my life and more times holding myself back from crying.
Then as I grew and evolved, I realized that crying was okay, but I still had a hard time doing it even when something sad really happened.
These past couple of months I have made up for that. I have cried so much for our sweet guy and I am grateful for that. For too long I let that build and build inside of me until it exploded in unhealthy ways.
It’s good to cry.
I have so much more to say about Fluffy, but if he were here, he would want you to know how important it is to prioritize your well-being and your loved ones.
So thank you for allowing me to share this wisdom with you today.
P.S.
Super fun fact about our Fluffy. He was also a star and was in several commercials. For years, everyone said he should be a famous cat, and we manifested that not once but twice.
You can check him out here, here and here.
And yes, his butt pats made it into the commercial.
