How to Stop Overthinking: 5 Proven Steps to Feel Calm & Clear
Recently, MaryBeth and I have been receiving numerous questions on how to stop overthinking.
I get it, because I used to overthink everything…
My ruminations would keep me up all night, and it was like I was in a constant state of worry and anxiety over what I “should” or “shouldn’t” do.
At times, it would feel paralyzing. And I hoped someone else would choose for me.
I wouldn’t want to choose because I didn’t want to be wrong or judged for my decisions.
So I deflect things to MaryBeth to figure out. Or I would look up what “experts” suggest you “should” or “shouldn’t” do.
But over time, I realized that this made me feel powerless.
It’s estimated that you have over 70,000 thoughts a day, and that 80% of those thoughts are negative, often repeating the same ones you had yesterday. It is easy to get into this overthinking cycle and ruminate on negative things.
Then, one day, I realized I needed to change this pattern. And as one of my mentors, don Jose Ruiz, likes to say, “the only thing left to learn is to unlearn.” I had to unlearn this cycle of overthinking.
So what did I do?
Here are five wayson how to stop overthinking—and start feeling clear, grounded, and in control.
1. Meditate: create the space where freedom lives
Think of meditation like a washing machine. At first, there’s the agitation cycle—the “dirt” of your thoughts loosens. You need that to break free. And if you stay with it, the rinse arrives: clarity, calm, and a regulated nervous system.
A busy mind in meditation isn’t failure; it’s the release doing its job. With practice, you widen the gap between trigger and reaction, so the first anxious thought does not hijack you—you meet it, breathe, and choose your response. Over time, you’ll notice less mental noise, better sleep, and an easier ability to return to center in the middle of a hectic day.
→ Bold first step: Listen to my 5-minute Inner Peace meditation and let it guide your daily reset.
2. Know and live your values: end decision fatigue at the root
Overthinking thrives in ambiguity. Values end the tug-of-war by giving you a clear internal compass. When a decision aligns with what matters most — your core values — you feel congruent, with less second-guessing and more self-trust. When you violate your values, friction shows up as stress, guilt, or burnout.
Identifying your core values gives you a practical filter: if a choice honors more of those values, it’s a yes; if it pulls you away from them, it’s a no or a renegotiation. You’ll make faster decisions, communicate more precise boundaries, and recover from setbacks more quickly because your “why” is non-negotiable. This isn’t abstract—this is how you make your life make sense and make decisions with ease.
→ Quick clarity: Take our free Core Values Quiz to identify your top drivers.
3. Release trapped emotions: clear the fog that feeds the loops
Sometimes your mind spins because your body is carrying an old trigger from negative emotions like grief, shame, fear, from past experiences. A present-day trigger lights up that old imprint; the nervous system fires first, and the mind scrambles to make a story. That’s the loop.
When you release the trapped emotion, the loop weakens: your thoughts settle, your chest softens, your options widen. The Emotion Code has been the most effective tool I’ve found for dissolving judgment, comparison, and perfectionism at the root. My clients often describe feeling “lighter,” “freer,” and “clearer” because the static has dropped. From there, calm choices become simpler—and sustainable.
→ Go deeper: Book an Emotion Code session with me to release the stuck triggers from the past.
4. Rewrite limiting beliefs: make your mind tell the truth
Overthinking isn’t just a “busy mind” problem—it’s a belief problem. Hidden rules, such as “I must get this perfect,” “If I say no, they’ll be upset,” or “I’m not ready yet,” quietly fuel the loop. Those limiting beliefs keep your nervous system on high alert, so your brain scans for threats and spins scenarios.
When you release them, the pressure drops: your body settles, your thoughts slow, and choices feel simpler. You move from “What if I fail?” to “What can I learn?”—less rumination, more grounded action. Practically, that involves noticing the belief, naming how it manifests, testing it against real evidence, and replacing it with a more genuine, values-aligned belief that you can act on. With repetition, the old loops lose their grip, and clarity becomes your default.
Solution: For step-by-step support, MaryBeth’s course, Becoming an Island of Peace in a Sea of Chaos, guides you in identifying and releasing limiting beliefs, reframing your inner story, and building simple daily rituals that keep you steady—so overthinking stops running the show.
5. Follow your heart: use your body’s wisdom, not just your brain’s
When I first began my journey into consciousness and self-awareness, one quote stuck with me more than any other: “The longest journey you’ll ever go on is from your head to your heart.”
As someone who spent most of my life living in my head—rationalizing everything, planning for every possibility, trying to have control—this felt impossible. I was used to overthinking, following logic, and letting fear drive the bus. That little voice in my head—the ego—was loud, and I listened to it for years.
But that quote kept coming back to me. And over time, I realized something powerful:
When I made decisions from my head, I often felt fear, regret, and a sense of lack. However, when I listened to my heart, I felt a sense of peace, abundance, and alignment.
What helped me trust that shift wasn’t just experience—it was the science. Research shows the heart and brain are in constant two-way conversation, and that your heart’s rhythms can influence emotional processing and mental clarity. When you cultivate “coherence”—the smooth, steady patterns that come with feelings like appreciation or compassion—your nervous system settles, your attention steadies, and the mental static that fuels overthinking quiets.
I noticed it first in small moments: I’d pause, breathe into my chest, and the answer that arrived from my heart felt quieter than fear—but unmistakably clear. From there, choices got simpler. I wasn’t trying to control every outcome; I was aligning with what felt true. And the more I practiced, the more that calm clarity became my default.
→ Listen to my Heart-Focused Inner Wisdom meditation to practice this shift daily.
None of this means life becomes quiet. It means you do. Chaos can swirl while you remain steady. That steadiness is built in small, repeatable moments: five minutes of stillness, a values-aligned “no,” the release of an old emotion, a belief that serves you, a heart-led choice.
Repeat those moments and you’ll notice the overthinking spiral loosens. You’ll sleep better. You’ll spend less time in “what if” and more time in “what matters.”
You’ve got this. And if you’d like support on how to stop overthinking, I’m here.
