Celebrating this millennial and her mom
Michele Mercer is currently the Sr. Director for Database Operations for the Foundation Fighting Blindness located in Columbia, MD. This is a wonderful organization that raises money to find the cures and treatments for retinal degenerative eye diseases. She and her husband greatly enjoy spending time with their children and their 4 grandchildren. They are extremely grateful that they all live in Columbia and that we are able to spend so much time with them.
Christiana Rigby is a mom to two wonderful children in Howard county. She returned to her hometown to raise her family and is currently running for office to advocate for her neighbors, their families, and their community.
How has your mother impacted the way you view motherhood? Christiana: I learned that the best thing I can do for my children is to teach them to be independent, to encourage them to believe in themselves and their abilities.
How has your daughter’s parenting style reflected or clashed with how you raised her? Michele: Christiana’s parenting style is very similar to mine. She feels it important for her children to be independent thinkers by encouraging them to think through problems and find solutions to conflicts. She shows them how to have compassion and empathy for others by being kind and patient. Christiana expresses her feelings much more openly than I do so in that way our styles are different.
What are you most proud of when you think of your daughter/mother?
Michele: How willing she is to take risks for her beliefs and her passion for providing opportunities and support for others in her community for living successful lives.
Christiana: I am most proud of my mother when I think of her perseverance to do good for the community. My mother went back and finished her bachelor’s degree after my sister and I were born. That is incredibly hard to do with two children! She has incredible focus and drive that she utilizes when accomplishing her goals, and I’m so proud of what she’s accomplished. My mother is dedicated to making the world a better place and has the patience and perseverance to make it happen.
What’s the greatest lesson your daughter/mother has taught you?
Michele: To see the world through another person’s perspective. I was a very quiet, reserved child who cautiously approached new experiences while Christiana was an outgoing child who couldn’t wait to experience the world as it opened up around her. I needed to understand how she viewed the world before I could help her learn to make good choices without stifling her exuberance.
Christiana: That ordinary people can be extraordinary advocates. My mother championed my sister’s special education needs against an unhelpful system. She worked tirelessly to slow traffic on the roads in our neighborhood to make our streets safer. My mother has always pushed for change for what she believes in, and that has been a huge inspiration to me.
What did you see in your daughter at an early age that now serves her well as an adult? Michele: Christiana was always very comfortable meeting new people and connecting with them. Her favorite book when she was 2 years old was a book with several pages showing many faces expressing different emotions. She would intensely study each face before turning each page.
Even when she was quite young when she perceived an injustice she would leap into action. When Christiana was around 3 years old I decided to splurge and buy lobsters for her Dad’s birthday dinner. Christiana was quite excited that we were going to take 2 lobsters home with us. As we were walking through the store to pick up a few more items, Christiana suddenly looked worried and asked if we were going to eat the lobsters. I took a deep breath and admitted that, yes, we planned to eat them. She grabbed the lobsters and ran towards the back of the store. I followed her and found her pleading with the employee standing near the lobster tank to take the lobsters back so that we would not eat them.
What do you see in your mother that you now see in yourself? Christiana: I wish I was more like my mother! We’re very different people in some ways, but she has always been so incredibly patient and trusting of our abilities (as children and adults). I really try to live up to the example of motherhood she set for me.
What’s the biggest difference you see in today’s times (vs. when you were raising your child/being raised) that creates challenges or ease?
Michele: How pervasive the Internet and technology is in our daily life creates many challenges for parents today. It distracts us from building face to face connections which is, particularly important when communicating and bonding with young children. The number and types of devices all of us use to connect introduces our children to dangers and experiences that they may not be mature enough to handle appropriately. Once children are going to school it is even harder for parents to control their environment than when Christiana was young. Parents today will need to find new ways to provide their children with the skills they need to recognize and navigate around the dangers while they enjoy the benefits technology provides.
Christiana: Manufacturing advancement has helped in many ways (better cloth diapers, baby swings, rockers, miracle blankets, merlin suits, etc) so that can make raising children slightly easier. But I think technology and our society’s reliance on online technology has been harmful. It provides a false sense of connection with our communities, and I know for some friends they’ve felt pressure to “perform motherhood” online. What stays the same is that our kids care about the time we spend with them, not how many likes a picture gets. I also worry about my daughter’s online privacy – which wasn’t even on the radar in the early 80’s!
What’s one thing you’d like your daughter/mother to know this mother’s day?
Michele: I would like her to know that being a mother is an amazing journey and while meeting the daily challenges can be exhausting it is also exhilarating. I have become a much better person for having made the journey and I thank my children for the life lessons I learned while raising them.
Christiana: I am profoundly grateful for her, I have been indelibly shaped by her love and life experience with my mother. I could thank her every day for the rest of my life and it still wouldn’t be enough to show my mom how much I love her. I feel truly lucky to be her child.
