Why Most New Year’s Resolutions Fail and How Core Values Create Change That Lasts
I was listening to a podcast recently where the host was talking about New Year’s resolutions and said something like:
“You need to struggle in life if you want to grow.”
At first, I kind of rolled my eyes. Do we really need to struggle that much?
But as I kept listening, I started thinking about my own life —and how many times I’ve treated my goals like New Year’s resolutions: push hard, burn out, reach the goal depleted, repeat.
Before I started working with MaryBeth, I spent almost 14 years in finance. I did what a lot of high-achievers do: I struggled my way up the ladder.
Long hours. Constant pressure. Always chasing the next goal.
And for a while, it actually felt good.
I was one of the top salespeople in the industry, making boatloads more money than I ever imagined. I enjoyed the people I worked with. And I had the title, the accolades, the “success story.”
From the outside, it looked like I was thriving. On the inside? I was quietly falling apart.
I went from loving my job to dreading it. From feeling energized by the challenge to waking up with a pit in my stomach.
Nothing on paper had changed. Same company, title and“success.”
But I had changed.
Somewhere along the way, my core values shifted. What mattered to me most didn’t line up with what that career demanded from me anymore. What used to be a motivating struggle turned into a suffocating one.
Instead of, “How do I get to the top?”
My questions became:
“Is this really what I want to be doing for the rest of my life?”
“Can I keep pretending and just ignore the feeling of my soul being checked at the office door?”
“Is this worth the toll it’s taking on my body, my relationships, my sanity?”
I had always pictured myself retiring from that job. Suddenly, my body, my energy, and my values were all saying:
No. This is not it anymore.
That started a different kind of struggle.
Not the hustle to hit the next sales goal, but the deeper, quieter struggle of:
Who am I really?
What do I actually want?
And what kind of life am I willing to fight for—beyond quick-fix New Year’s resolutions that fade by February?
Fast forward to now.
MaryBeth and I have been working together as entrepreneurs for almost 7 years. And trust me, there’s still plenty of struggle.
From trying to figure out:
- ?How to sell our offerings in a way that feels authentic
- ?♀️How to grow a business and protect our well-being
- ?How to make things work when nothing seems to be clicking
There are late nights. There are big risks. And moments where I think:
“Wouldn’t it be easier if I had just stayed in finance?”
And this is usually when MaryBeth looks at me like, “Are you kidding me, dude?”
Because she knows—and I know—that going back to that version of “easy” would cost me everything that really matters to me now. It would violate my core values and the essence of who I am authentically.
Here’s the difference:
Back then, I was struggling against my values. Now, I’m willing to struggle for them.
And that changes everything.
When your struggle is in service of the life you actually want to live…
When your actions reflect what you truly care about…
The struggle still exists. But it feels like it’s an expansion of your evolutionary edge, which can be uncomfortable at times but is always worth it. The intrinsic reward is the greatest high you’ll ever experience because it’s your purpose in action.
One of my favorite books on resilience argues that we’ve totally misunderstood what toughness really is.
As a former D1 athlete, I was taught that toughness meant:
- ?Push through no matter what
- ✋Ignore your body
- ? Grind until you break
If you could suffer the most, you were the toughest. But that’s not resilience. That’s self-abandonment.
Real resilience is about how you respond to life. Not pretending everything is fine. Not muscling through misalignment.
It’s about having an internal compass you can return to when life gets chaotic.
That compass? Your core values.
When you’re aligned with your values…
You still face challenges.
You still have moments of doubt.
But you also have clarity.
It helps you know which struggles are worth your energy—and which ones aren’t.
You become more intentional about where your time, attention, and heart go. You stop chasing approval and start honoring your truth. And life, even when it’s hard, starts to feel more meaningful. More like you.
This is the piece most New Year’s resolutions miss. They focus on surface-level behavior—lose weight, wake up earlier, make more money—without asking the deeper question:
“Is this aligned with my core values and life’s purpose?”
When your goals and intentions are rooted in your values, they stop feeling like fragile New Year’s resolutions and become commitments to who you really are.
So let me ask you:
- Are you struggling toward a life that drains you? Or toward a life that lights you up?
- Are you pushing yourself to uphold expectations that no longer fit? Or investing your energy in the person you’re becoming?
New Year, More Me: A 30-Day Challenge to Realign Your Life with Your Values (+365 days of continuous support)
If your habits don’t change, you won’t have a “New Year.” You’ll just have another year of the same old BS—and another pile of abandoned New Year’s resolutions.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
In the New Year, More Me Challenge (January 11th–February 11th), you’ll learn how to:
- ? Identify your unique core values—and the ones you want to activate this year
- ? Understand where those values came from and how they’ve shaped your life
- ? Clearly see what’s draining your energy and what’s filling it
- ? Take real, doable steps to shift that balance
- ? Set intentions and promises that actually honor your values and well-being
- ?️ Have 365 micro daily practices to keep you aligned in your values for all of 2026
? If you’re ready to trade empty New Year’s resolutions for deeply aligned action, join our New Year, More Me Challenge.
Sign up here for $111 — only 25 spots
We’d be honored to walk beside you as you step into 2026 more you than ever before.
P.S.
If something in this email hit a nerve—if you’re realizing you’ve been hustling for a life that doesn’t fit anymore—please don’t ignore that.
The New Year, More Me Challenge is your invitation to reset your compass and realign your energy with what truly matters to you.
Instead of another year of abandoned New Year’s resolutions, you can create a foundation that actually lasts—rooted in your values, not in pressure or perfection.
Only 25 spots are available, and it’s just $111 for a year of support after a mega jump-start to 2026.
? Save your spot in the New Year, More Me Challenge right here.
“To understand how my values are connected to my feelings helped me align with myself and those I choose to surround myself with. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!” – Carla Lopez
“These practices have been so helpful in bringing me back to the present moment and reminding me what’s really important in my life.” – Kim Gerber
