The Power of Courage: How to Rewrite Your Story and Embrace Change
I take a bite of my grilled mahi mahi and instantly spit it out. I can’t even remember the last time I had food this bad.
WTF did I just eat?!?!
I looked over at my wife, MaryBeth, who was having the same experience. There is no way we are going to eat what we just ordered…
We were at one of our favorite restaurants, trying a new special for the first time. We were already going to be in the area and had a lot to celebrate, so we thought it was a win-win! It activated many of our values.
The timing seemed divine! Our high vibes were at a 10.
Until that first bite… they plummeted to 0.
Imagine the worst thing you have ever eaten. Now imagine that being ten times worse than you remember. So bad you wouldn’t give it to a dog to eat.?
So what do we do about it?
I begin having a conversation with myself in my mind. Stories run through my head as the feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, and frustration start to bubble up. My inner dialogue sounds something like…
- “Well, you could just throw it away and not say anything. That seems safe, and you won’t have to do anything to make you feel uncomfortable or anyone else.”
- “Yeah, but this is really bad. Do you just want to throw that money away, too?”
- “No, but I am afraid to say anything. I don’t want to be judged. They are going to judge me if I say something.”
- “Why are you afraid?”
- “Growing up, I never saw anyone take their food back. They always said it was good even if it wasn’t and just complained about it later.”
- “Yeah, I hear that, but what are you scared of now?”
- “Using my voice to stand in my power. Asking for what I want and being denied. I feel so uncomfortable in these situations.”
- “Why are you scared of using your voice?”
- “When I was younger, I used my voice and was denied.”
- “Okay, I hear you, but that was long ago, and you are a different person now. You can do this.”
As this happened inside me, MaryBeth asked me what I wanted to do and how she could help.
My first thought came from my wounded inner child. “I just want you to go take care of it. I don’t want to do anything.”
We couldn’t be more opposite when it comes to these situations. She is a professional in using her voice. And for most of our 20-year relationship, I’ve used her as a crutch.
But…
Deep inside me, above the discomfort, I knew this was a perfect opportunity to push my edges and create a new possibility for myself.
I summon lion courage…
Lion is my power animal. Simply put, it’s a spirit guide I call on when feeling powerless. I summon lion courage energy to use my voice and step into my power.
(This image was a special gift to commemorate my power animal connection.)
I told MaryBeth I’d take the food back and I’d like her to stand next to me if I needed any support.
My intention was to tell the staff what happened and see what they could do so that I could feel relief. I was not attached to the outcome. This was an opportunity to grow, face my anxieties, and use my voice to release my fears.
As I walk up to the counter, I feel a sense of unease, a tinge of anxiety. I have trouble making eye contact.?
I take a breath, ground myself in lion courage, and begin…
“Hi, so I am really embarrassed even bringing this up, but this food is inedible. I am not sure what is wrong, but we can’t eat it.”
The staff person says, “Well, do you want a refund, or can we get you something else?”
Perfect! We planned on getting more food to-go (that we had before and knew was good), so we went for the exchange.
As the cashier is processing the exchange, the manager comes out…
He starts yelling at the employees and blaming them for what happened. ?Which totally was not their fault. I felt so bad. This is normally where I’d bail, but I knew it was an opportunity to learn.
This was a true test. To stand in that discomfort and negative energy as my mind and ego start saying things like, “See, you did this!” “Why did you even say anything?” “You are a terrible person.” “Look what you did.”
Wow, that silly ego…
My ego was trying to prove that I made the wrong choice in voicing my truth. But I sat with it. And ultimately, I got the exchange.
I reminded myself that this wasn’t my fault. Clearly, this had to do more with the restaurant than me.
After the manager stormed off, we shared our appreciation with the staff and headed out.
On the drive home, MaryBeth asked me how I was feeling.
I was a little numb still. My wounded inner child was still in need of some soothing. He did something he thought was scary and survived. But that was still so new to him. He wanted to crawl into his protective cave and stay there as long as possible.
The low and high feelings were like a yo-yo going back and forth.
However, the next day, when I woke up, I felt a sense of pride and joy.?
I created a new possibility for myself.
Spoke up and got what I wanted.
Rewrote an old story that wasn’t serving me and will replace it with this new one.
And you can do the same thing, too.
It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes. “Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” ― Mandy Hale
And you don’t belong stuck in old stories and programs that don’t serve you. You can release the “I am not good enough,” “I can’t use my voice,” and “I don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable” stories.
Here are four lessons you can use the next time you feel stuck in your head with stories that don’t serve you and you need to summon some lion courage.
- ?Your ego will try to “protect your hell.” Your ego is that little voice inside your head that likes to make up all sorts of stories to scare you. It doesn’t matter how big or small the situation is. It doesn’t want you to grow. It thinks it is “protecting” you when it says, “You shouldn’t speak up for yourself.” It is not protecting you. It’s trying to keep you in the “hell” you have created for yourself in your mind. It’s trying to keep you from changing. It makes you play small. You must break through your ego’s lies if you want to grow.
- ?Get comfortable in your discomfort. You must be okay with feeling uncomfortable when you are growing and evolving. It comes with the territory. And it is easy for you when you feel uncomfortable to stop and revert to what you have always done. That is what your ego wants you to do.
However, when you can be comfortable with the discomfort, observe it, and move through it, that is where true growth happens. It reminds me of lifting weights. When you first start, there is a lot of discomfort as your body becomes accustomed to the exercise. Then, once you build that muscle, the discomfort lessons until you choose to grow some more and add more weight. Then, you keep building and building and pushing yourself to new limits. You realize that the discomfort is key to growth.
- ?️Practice makes perfectly imperfect. To change old stories and programming, you need to practice. You have operated in a certain way when situations arise for most of your life. Once you become aware of the behaviors you want to change, you must keep practicing them repeatedly until they become your default. And every opportunity, big or small, is a perfect time to practice. Returning to weightlifting, if you were learning a new lift, you wouldn’t just do it once and feel like you got it. You would practice it repeatedly until you had the right form and didn’t have to think about it. And however long that takes is up to you. Everyone is different.
- ✍️Give yourself space to reflect and recharge. When pushing your evolutionary edges, it is normal to feel exhausted afterward. You might even feel like you have an emotional hangover. One of the best things you can do is reflect and recharge. Keeping with the weightlifting example.
If you want to build a muscle, you exercise and then take a day or two off before working that muscle again. The time between allows you to observe how your body feels, and the rest strengthens your muscles. If you keep lifting the same muscle daily, you will injure yourself and not get stronger. You aren’t giving it a chance to recharge and regenerate. The same goes for strengthening your mental muscles.
“Do Hard Things” by Steve Magness recently taught me that toughness is how you respond to events in life. Choosing to do the hard things even when they feel uncomfortable because you know by choosing them, they make you stronger.
For me, it’s shifting from the cowardly lion into the courageous lion.
A tall and strong lion with his head held high, letting out a huge roar.
What will you choose the next time you are in an uncomfortable situation? Will you return to your old stories or summon the courage of your inner lion?
When you are ready, here is how we can help you summon lion courage through your values.
? Knowing and Living Your Values: During my 10-day course, you’ll identify your unique values, see where you’re currently activating them, and make small tweaks where you’re not so that every day is filled with purpose. Join 7,500+ Students Here.
