How to Stop Feeling Guilty About Food During the Holidays
Was it just me, or did everything suddenly seem holiday-related when you opened Netflix on November 1st?
Love it or hate it, the holiday season is back. And with it comes family, traditions, food, parties…and sometimes a whole lot of complicated feelings about all of the above.
For me, food has definitely been one of them.
Years ago, after one holiday party, I found myself curled up in bed in the fetal position, writhing in pain after eating far too much.
It was one of the worst feelings I had ever experienced, and in that moment I knew something had to change.
The Cookie Monster had to be retired.
That was my nickname because I loved sweets so much. I’m talking multiple sleeves of cookies in one sitting, without thinking twice.
But that night, my body had made its opinion pretty clear.
RIP Cookie Monster.
What happened afterward, though, taught me something I didn’t expect.
I became much more mindful about what I ate, which was a good thing. But somewhere along the way, being mindful sometimes turned into being judgmental.
A cookie wasn’t just a cookie anymore. It could come with a whole conversation in my head:
I shouldn’t eat this.
This is too much.
I can never eat sweets again or I am going to go off the rails.
I’m going to feel terrible tomorrow.
So even when I consciously chose to enjoy something, part of me was already feeling guilty about it.
And I think that’s where a lot of people get caught during the holidays.
Maybe you want the homemade pie your aunt only makes once a year, but you’re already thinking about the calories before you take the first bite.
Maybe you go back for seconds and immediately start mentally negotiating what you’ll eat tomorrow to make up for it.
Or maybe you spend so much energy trying to “be good” that you’re barely present for the meal, the conversation, or the people sitting around the table with you.
That doesn’t feel particularly healthy either.
Over time, I started trying a different approach. If I decided to eat something, I practiced actually choosing it.
Instead of eating dessert while mentally beating myself up, I’d think, I’m going to enjoy this. I’m grateful I get to have it.
That doesn’t mean ignoring what your body tells you. Believe me, my Cookie Monster night taught me that lesson pretty effectively.
It means noticing the difference between listening to your body and punishing yourself with a story.
Your body might genuinely tell you, That was enough.
Your mind might say, You’re terrible for eating that.
Those are two very different messages. And that distinction can make a huge difference during a season when food is everywhere.
You don’t need to eat every cookie. You also don’t need to turn the cookie you consciously chose into evidence that you failed.
What if the goal this holiday season was simply to be more present with your choices?
Eat what you genuinely want to eat. Notice when you’ve had enough. Pay attention to how your body feels.
And when you do choose the pie, the cookie, or the special meal, let yourself actually enjoy it.
One simple thing I use is to decide ahead of time how I want an experience to feel.
It doesn’t need to be complicated. You might simply think:
My intention is to enjoy dinner and leave feeling satisfied.
Or:
My intention is to celebrate with my family and feel love, joy and connection.
Then if the old commentary starts, you have something to return to. Because sometimes the hardest part of the holidays isn’t the food itself.
It’s the stories you’ve attached to it.
Maybe you learned very early that certain foods were “bad.” Maybe your body was criticized, or discipline and control became part of how you measured whether you were doing well.
Those patterns can run deep.
And they can show up even when you consciously know better.
So if you catch yourself slipping into guilt, shame, or all-or-nothing thinking this holiday season, try getting curious instead of critical.
Ask yourself:
What is my body actually telling me right now?
And then:
What story am I adding on top of it?
You might be surprised by how different the answers are. That awareness alone can give you more room to choose what happens next.
And if certain emotions, beliefs, or old patterns keep showing up no matter how much you understand them intellectually, that’s one place where energy work can offer another layer of support.
You don’t have to make the holidays perfect.
Maybe the goal is simply to enjoy them a little more, listen to yourself a little better, and spend a little less time fighting with yourself afterward.
And yes…
Sometimes that means just enjoying the damn cookie.
P.S.
If you already know the holidays tend to bring old guilt, stress, emotional eating, family triggers, or other patterns back to the surface, energy work can help you work with what’s underneath them instead of just trying harder to control your reaction.
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